hurt...i'm not a vet enough around here to break down all of what you wrote to the detail that i'm sure others who come along will be able to do, but that said just some general comments. "try" as best you can to keep your conversations with her as minimal as can be. when you do have to speak with her keep your "venting" comments inside of you, but share them here for support. the two of you need to get a formalized custody schedule in place which i think will help stabilize much of the "who gets the kids" subject that currently is too excessive for you and triggers you into saying too much. whenever you can have your kids with you, DO SO and DOCUMENT! it will serve you well if you head to D.
keep the focus on you and the children, head down, blinders on to her and whatever with OM is going on. the more her actions get you fed up, the more moving forward you'll do. prayers for you and family.
