Finding the Balance and then Tipping the Scale

[burned]

Good! Remember that at your stage, there's still a LOT you can do to influence the outcome. You have SO much to work with. My suspicion is that if you burn it to the ground now, you'll regret it within a week, possibly within days. You're right, it's so early in this process. Your thoughts and actions are all based on emotions right now, even when you convince yourself that they aren't.

So, take that angry feeling you get, that frustration about "Nothing is happening, nothing is working," and channel it into goal-directed action. Ask yourself what standing means to you. Like, get a blank sheet of paper, and at the top of it write, "My goal is to save my marriage." Then try to come up with at least 10 reasons why. Then you could try to come up with another 10 reasons why the actions you felt like taking (last night) would move you further away from that goal.

Post the results here, even if you get stuck. Even if you only come up with 3 reasons for each, you've already generated a pile of ideas to work with. Then people here can offer more tailored advice. Otherwise all you'll hear us say over and over is, "No, don't do it," and nobody will really know why.