LBH Looking for Help and Guidance

[burned]

I don't think that her headspace is typical for this forum.

I'm in the same boat, JB. Cool, calm, collected. At least that's what she projects. But is your W someone who projects a good image even when she's in turmoil inside? It's definitely OK to feel that way, and I think a lot of people (myself included) have the same kinds of fears that come from that.

The best advice I got, early on, that I should have listened to, is to drop that attitude right away. We all know our Ws better than anyone else (we hope), but the advice you get here applies to just about anyone. So accept that there are unique aspects of how your W's mind works, but don't use that as a reason to reject any advice you get here. I mean I'm not saying you are, but that's what I learned. Trust the people here.

I mean, look, you just got two other people who think the same things about their Ws. There must be others. So your situation isn't as unique as you think. Now, as to whether you can deduce your likelihood of success based on those unique aspects of your W...that's one that I worry about. I've heard people say that the "crazy" ones are the ones that don't follow through, while the cool/collected ones are the ones who stick to their guns.

Only time will tell. And it doesn't change what you need to do. If you DB the way it's recommended here, you might influence her choices. Other than that, she will do what she will do and trying to stop her will only make it worse. That is a universal truth.