Your life plan sounds great and I particularly like the volunteering and the bucket list of states/countries. You should start planning some of those holidays now. It will give you focus and something to look forward to.
Originally Posted by harvey
1) Leave Facebook, unfriend my STBXW and family, or just unfollow my STBXW and family?
I would unfollow. It is harder to give into temptation when there are additional steps involved. Unfriending just seems very reactionary.
Originally Posted by harvey
2) Hold onto hope? Quite honestly, the only hope I have left is divine hope. I have no expectations. I'm not sure if I should just close this chapter of my life or leave the door open (be the lighthouse)? Question 1 goes to this also. I could choose to have minimal contact with my STBXW or I could keep in contact (but have no expectations) and hope that one day she'll come out of her fog. It's probably healthier to close this chapter.
Keep the hope in the back of your mind but don't allow your life to be defined by it. Live your life. If she comes back, and if she has done the work (as you are doing), then you can try again. If she doesn't come back, well, you will still have a life worth living.
Originally Posted by harvey
3) I know dating isn't in the cards. I'm not ready for that. But when? I guess that's a "who knows" question.
When you have healed. When you are not doing it because it will get a reaction out of her. When you are again looking to the future. You will know when the time is right. I always thinking meeting someone is a matter of opportunity and inclination. Opportunities will present themselves - only you know when the inclination is there.
Originally Posted by harvey
Continuing from the last thread, I did tell STBXW that I would not come down early. I told her that we are not a family anymore. We are two families with parents who are co-parenting two beautiful girls. I told her that I would not give my daughter's false hope that we would continue to do things together--like when we were a family. That I'm not going to pretend nothing will change.
Good for you. Only comment is you do not need to explain yourself. It sounds like you are forcing consequences down her throat. You do not need to do that. She knows the consequences and force feeding them to her will only make her resent you more. A simple "Appreciate the offer but I can't come down early. I have other plans".
