There's a lot happening on your end. That sounds really inappropriate for your wife to take your son on a playdate with her affair partner!! I don't know if there's anything you can do to stop that but your wife arranging such a meeting isn't in your son's best interest and it's unfair to you. I'd have a really hard time with that if I were you. It's surprising she's so open and honest. It's hard to understand why she wants you to know all these things. It could be to get your reaction, to show you how she's moving on, or there's a small possibility she wants you to fight for the marriage and to stop her from doing these things and be a strong, protective husband although that's unlikely.
It's nice that you told your wife you forgive her but something doesn't seem right about that. There's also a fine balance between fighting to save your marriage and offering her a blessing and forgiveness to do what she's doing. This is an area to think carefully about because the conversation maybe shouldn't even be happening and to be so forgiving so soon after you find out about an affair partner may reflect a lapse in judgement. If you still feel that way in weeks and months then it's commendable that you're able to forgive so easily but you may realize later that's not how you feel at all. It's kind of hard to know how you'll feel from day-to-day right now because there's so much to process and cope with.
My guess is your wife wants you to find another woman because that'd make her feel less guilty and she'd feel better about what she's doing knowing that you're with someone else while she's with her new man.
I feel like I can't quite grasp everything you're writing because in most cases the one who's having the affair hides the affair and does everything to avoid being discovered. It seems like the opposite with your wife. Now that you know she seems to be giving you all the details. Hopefully others with more experience will be able to offer a better perspective. I hope though the detachment strategy that DB teaches will help you to gain some distance because this sounds like such a painful situation to be in. That'll be good if your wife does move out. Let's see how she feels in a year or two when her new life isn't as great as she expected!
