Could you maybe remind your lawyer that he was a finance guy and that you detrimentally relied on him (the statute of limitations for this should begin to accrue with the report you received today under a discovery rule). There are some torts that are potentially at play here that could possibly used to negotiate a much better result. Instantly, the ones that come to mind are breach of spousal fiduciary duty, fraud, breach of the duty of good faith and fair dealing, and equitable arguments (some theory of detrimental reliance or unclean hands). I think lawyers are often used to working in their own box and not looking outside of it. In my state, family law attorneys don't do much with black letter law and freak out if they have to do anything other than argue equities based on family law statutes. Perhaps his desire to avoid a civil suit from you when all is said and done is enough reason to be reasonable now. May be worth taking a free consultation with someone who specializes in financial torts, just to get an idea if there is anything there.
Also, consider whether his actions toward you might affect any licenses or registrations he may have. For instance, is he is a commodities broker or someone that needs to be on the right side of FINRA? There might be leverage there too if you would potentially have grounds to pursue a disciplinary action.
