Thanks for chiming in on my sitch. And thank you for using my story to provide you inspiration as you navigate through your journey. One thing I want to mention to you is that I did not start DBing until nearly 7 months after BD. For 7 months I cried, she "supported" me while I broke down, she "reassured" me that nothing was happening, but not once did she want to "fix the M". She angrily rejected MC. (In hindsight, it made perfect sense and I do not blame her for her choice).
Then came the period after we celebrated our 10th first contact anniversary. She said that this summer I need to "go wild"...whatever that meant. The next day I came home for lunch and she was there. While we were talking, she uttered the words that stung me..."We're not romantic anymore" (again, now I see why and it makes sense). The entire summer was W transforming into WW. Long phone calls and secret text messages. Closed door phone sex sessions. Taking D4 to meet OM. Taking OM to her uncle for "approval". Rewriting history. All the while, nudging me to cater to her (I did not know anything about NGS then) by making and bringing her coffee, cleaning her car, making her meals, and so on. It wasn't until I met with her uncle and having HIM tell me that W took OM to meet him that I started the process of letting go (I called her very angry). When I calmed down, I called her again and told her that I am on the same page as her and agreed that the "romance is over". The next day, I googled "My wife won't stop her affair" and the third result lead me to this post (hyperlinked). I read through the thread and decided to create a profile here and post my story.
I do not know if things would have been better had I started the DB process sooner. I knew I spent 7 months doing the "wrong" things before I embarked on this journey. It took me 4 hard months of posting, GAL, beginning the detaching process, getting 2x4's from the folks here as well as my MC, and a ton of pain to get to this point. Some people take longer to get to this point, others do not.
Everyone who has been DBing as well as those who have gone through their own process when they S or D have said that it does get better. It takes a long time, but it does get better. I have started seeing signs. By no means is this over, but I know that things like this take a lot of time. It's only been four months, but I am a much better man. I still have work to do in getting, as Sandi would say, "get my b@lls back", but I am making my way there a little bit at a time.
I am seeing you shift upwards as well. You were very fortunate to start the process so quickly after BD.
I look forward to see where you are in the next few months. Hang in there.
