Most of her anger comes from her getting pregnant. We are Catholic, and up to recently we practiced Natural Family Planning (NFP). This was what I looked for in a marriage partner, and this was something we agreed upon when getting married. This was one of the 'specifics I could get into' in the OP, but refrained from. I'm also not looking to get into a discussion on the merits of plannings births or church teachings.
Long story short, she expressed unhappiness with NFP a few times, but I wanted to stick with it and tried to get her some help and community with doing it.
Welp....she got pregnant, and thus could not retake her physical fit test for a promotion and had that career path closed off to her.
Aaaah OK thank you for clarifying as now your first post makes a lot more sense. We're not judgmental here about choices you make so I don't think anyone would try to tell you your BC choices were wrong or anything. But I think it points again to her having some issues that she needs to sort through. She was as complicit in the BC method as you were, and the fact that she got pregnant is not something she should hate you for. You know how they say "the pill" is 99.9% effective? Well I'm here to tell you, that 0.1% is very real and I have a son to prove it, LOL! My W and I were older at the time and thought we were done having kids. I didn't blame my W and she didn't blame me, instead we agreed to meet the challenge head on, and now we have a wonderful, loving, gentle son who is an absolute joy even as he approaches 16. Anyway my point is her anger is misplaced, and her blame is too. Unfortunately you can't help her to see that, she's got to discover it on her own. And it may take a long, long time.
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The other causes of her unhappiness / angry include 'forgetfulness' on my part about things, and a relative reluctance to talk about sex / intimacy. I know there was a 3rd, but it's not placing (hence her issue).
For the most part, I did work on those things and tried to improve from her talk in the spring--address the forgetfulness and talk more about / have more sex and intimacy. At least as much as I could. Would I backslide at times? Sure. But I thought things were trending in the right direction.
But in Oct, she mentioned that I made progress, but then would backslide, but was light on specifics.
It's not unusual for WAS's to talk like that. "You did a lot of things wrong but I'm not going to waste my time telling you what they were because it's too late for that."
