[Wanted1]

AS,

With regard to your post with the 2x4s. You make complete sense in everything you've stated. I do feel remorse about throwing the things down the hallway and I expressed that to her individually in one of your conversations and again in front of the Bishop during our meeting. Both times I've said that I was incredibly frustrated and handled it in a manner in which I shouldn't have and that I regret it.

You made great points about GAL and after she had the talk with me I told her I would be more forth coming to her about when I'm going to be leaving, etc. Of course the ONE night I'm not there S3 wakes up.... I have the worst luck imaginable I'm telling you!

Steve, LH and AS,

Thank you all for your input. I truly appreciate it and they are good words of wisdom. I'm glad I came here today before possibly doing something to make matters worse. I will just see how it goes tonight, I guess, and let her express her thoughts on it and listen and validate as best I can.

Steve, I am already in IC. Have been since the day after BD in September.

LH, I don't really care what she thinks about me going to the game. I was more concerned with her perception of me doing a 180 and telling her I don't want to go now because of the negative connotation she would undoubtably place as the game being my top priority over Retrovaille, which we all know isn't the case. It's never "the case" in just about everything I say and do but she sure as hell tries to make it "the case!"

AS, you make a great another point about controlling and manipulating. Those are definitely things she has said I do. She has even admitted that I probably do them without even consciously knowing I am, which is the truth. We have had a weird dynamic. Due to to the abuse and trauma as a child, she has discovered that her mindset has been to always do and go along with whatever I say. Basically, be subservient to the man. One could argue that's how these As happen as well. When the man wants something, she gives in. No excuse for her, still, but I emphasize with how it's possible given what she's been through. My IC has told me quite a few times that this mindset can absolutely be a cause of sexual abuse and it does make sense when you think about it. When she doesn't speak up and voice an opinion otherwise, I naturally assume she is on board with whatever it is. I can talk til I'm blue in the face and try to explain to her that I can't be blamed for 100% of the controlling and manipulation she feels since she sort of perpetrates it, but I know not to bring that up. She needs to discover that on her own. I think this is where a lot of the resentment comes from.