I just wanted to drop by and let you know you're not alone with the deep emotion thing (and the revenge thing). There are a lot of things I'm still in the process of doing.
The other day I was starting on my tax return for the past year and going through the email receipts I needed to print out. For some reason it turned into a clearing out my inbox/filing old emails from the time XH left (October 2015) and just after. It was something I hadn't done yet, but had wanted to do.
Anyway, the feelings were awful, absolutely hideous, like I was right back reliving those first six months. Except I was also noticing just how many emails I hadn't responded to, including work ones. And I probably missed out on quite a bit of work as a result. Oh well, it's passed now. And I've sorted my emails.
The way I've dealt with it is just to train myself not to look backwards to my past life when I notice my attention start to wander. I've been very, very deliberate about it. It's not been easy, for sure. But it has got easier the more times I do it.
For yourself, I guess it's about keeping the focus on yourself and your children and your (plural) future. But not extending it as far as your X.
I don't know if that makes sense?
My ideas of revenge are limited to public humiliation of my XH via FB and letting the world know exactly what he did. Funny thing is, I'm sure that everyone in the industry that we both work in knew what was going on before I did, so it wouldn't be news to them...lol!
And if I did that, I would be giving him some of my attention, and that's not what it's about. The focus is on me now.
