[SteveLW]

Do not bring it up again. If she asks "are we going?" then you tell her "no I changed my mind" and leave it at that.

I can tell you are dying to call her out on texting your buddy.

I will not call her out. Trust me. She replied back to my text in the meantime and said that my mom mentioned she could watch the kids and my W just replied thank you. She then said "I have a few thoughts on it but we can talk tonight if you want."

I feel like I need to respond with something --- I thinking, "No, that's OK. I've thought more about it and I don't think I want to go."

Nope. no need to respond. You can short-circuit the conversation tonight with "I changed my mind."

Yes, I definitely talk to much. I'm a lawyer, so talking is instinctual and I need to 180 on that. I know I need to and its hard to implement but I'm trying my best.


I've thought about what you said in your previous post about whether or not bringing it up will bring me closer to R or not. There is nothing to gain by bringing it up other than to prove "Gotcha" so I'm not going to. That would just add fuel to the blaze that I'm engulfed in.

So, just leave the text message hanging then? And if she comes to talk to me about it tonight, listen, validate and then state that I changed my mind? That's another 180 that I suppose I could implement -- I've ALWAYS made it a point to respond to phone calls, text messages, emails, etc. in a VERY timely manner. Always. No matter who it is. If I don't respond at all it will definitely pique her interest I would think because it would be completely out of the norm for me. I've always deemed it considerate to respond immediately to any of the above because I like when the same is afforded to me. Like I said, no response would be a complete 180 from my behavior in the past. Not just with W but with anyone at work, friends, etc.

Separate how you should behave in business dealings with how you should behave with your WW.

When she texts something informational....no need to ever respond. When she texts a question.....take your time, no need to answer right away. Then answer in as few word as possible. You are a lawyer so think about how you would want a witness to answer your questions. Yes or no questions get yes or no answers.

By all means leave her text hanging.