If it helps....there may come a day when you DO want a D. That you are tired of everything and say rather than wait any longer I WANT it to be. It sounds like you are on that road now with your first response. But you still said no to wanting a D.
I view it like knee surgery. No one wants knee surgery. But when you get to the point where it hurts immensely to walk then you say you want it rather than dealing with what you have. Everyone facing knee surgery deals with that. Similar to everyone facing D deals with it. We all know the recovery is long and difficult, so we put it off as long as we can but eventually cross over from avoidance to actually wanting it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
