Introduction

[TJT]

P.S. I know that the type of text I described could be interpreted as putting more pressure on him. That's why I have not sent it. But I do want to know if there's anything at all that I could say that would be appropriate just to emphasize that I have not changed my mind about working on the marriage, IF he wants to.

I am afraid that if he does have any doubt in his mind, his shame and ego would prevent him from admitting that and trying to come back. I want to convey that I am not going to judge him or condemn him and that I am still a "safe" place IF he has the desire to work on things.

Simultaneously, I also know that I alone cannot fix the parts of him that make him feel ashamed or that otherwise prevent him from feeling like he can face into issues to make them better. If he sees something as broken or a failure, he has to first and foremost be okay with that rather than choosing to ignore or run away from them because it's too hard, embarrassing, doesn't feel the best, etc.

Guess I'm still affected by the feeling that this is my fault and there is something major I could have done to prevent it all.