Pain, Try and stop the spinning in your mind and use these thoughts to detach, maybe right things down in a list, you don't need to confront her with these things you need to confront yourself with them. Take a good hard look at what she has/is doing, not from a place of blame and anger but from a place of understanding. After looking at what has been coming your way really think, do I deserve this? Do I want someone that would treat me this way around me right now? I think you already know the answers to these questions and it is now just time to quietly let her go and figure it out for herself.
When I look at my W now all I see is a sad lost little girl going through hell herself. Every time she does something stupid that gets on my nerves I think about this and it helps me not react.
