[Wanted1]

No. Just start planning your GAL weekend. If it comes up then you say you decided against it.

Also, respect is exactly what other have said: She will respect you when she sees that no matter what she says or does, you are happy, fulfilled, pleased and moving forward. Essentially detached.

Also you need to be honest with yourself Wanted1: "I don't feel bad about snooping and honestly what I've found hasn't send me into a tizzy like it has in the past. I'm pretty neutral to it." That doesn't jive with "I am ready to burn everything to the ground."

Step back from your sitch and try to view it objectively as if it were a friend's sitch.

I know that doesn't necessarily jive, per se, with being neutral to it. I guess what I meant was, I'm very, very close to the point where I just tell her I'm done, I'm out, I don't need a "decision" from you anymore. This might be the final "straw" which I need to push me into such a decision. I'm treating this latest incident much differently than in the past. I would have already confronted her with what I found like I have in the past. Now, I'm almost numb to it. It hurts, obviously, but this whole mess has hurt. This time it isn't as intense of a hurt I guess.

In justifying my decision to be done, I'd tell her that I know and also let OM W know because, again, if it were me, I'd want to know if I was in her position. Not sure if that constitutes "burning everything to the ground." Maybe that statement was too harsh in depicting what I would do. If she has no remorse and guilt (other than saying she feels intense guilt -- believe nothing what they say) about destroying our M and my kids' family life, maybe the thought of her actions potentially causing turmoil in another family's situation will get her to stop and think how destructive her actions are. IMO, she still doesn't understand how grave her actions are.