Thanks Yail - his sister and I were very close. Over the years, she became my go to when I needed to moan about her brother. But the longer this has gone, the more uncomfortable it has been for her. She does not like what he is doing, but he is still her brother. So, mixture of embarrassment and loyalty has meant that our comms are now limited to pleasantries and pictures of our kids. I miss her, but I understand.
At the time he went to China he was looking for am out that allowed him to save face, i.e. escape without actually escaping. He would work there for four weeks and then come home for two weeks and no-one would be the wiser. He could have his freedom and his family. There were other options he explored, he could MO (into the flat behind our house) and not tell anyone (strangely, this one was his sisters idea - which I said No to). Like DjV's H, the need to escape was overwhelming but he wasn't yet willing to cut the rope.
