Steve—You are absolutely correct that at the end of the day, I’m not responsible for her happiness. I do believe that she is projecting a lot on to me, and I don’t deserve that from her. Next time she tells me how unhappy she is, I should just tell her ‘if you’re so unhappy or angry, why aren’t you in front of that therapist every week or two weeks to work this out?’
You and my IC are right—LRT right now is not the way to go.
But you’re also correct that I should GAL—that’s something I’ve been thinking about these last few weeks. Admittedly, it’s hard when I teach and have 2 small kids under 6.
I’ve been trying to give her the space that she says she wants (emotionally and physically), even though the lack of affection and sex is rough on me.
I’ve also been trying to work on anything ‘bad behaviors,’ or anything she claims I need to fix. But I also read on these forums that for a WW, it won’t really matter what you do, and that was apparent to me about a month ago—still not good enough in her eyes, allegedly. So I’ll fix what I reasonably can.
I have thought much about ‘being a man only a fool can leave,’ and want to do that. I also believe that she would have to a fool to leave now—I have a stable job, no real vices, good with kids (teacher), am capable of making and raising beautiful kids, am relatively young (35) and decent-looking. Life with me is so bad? I’m sure the pool of available men (especially in her line of work) is probably not that great, so take your chances. But don’t use me or yo-yo me emotionally.
