Still here. Still not detached... (Part 3)

[ovrrnbw]

I suppose I'm in the "acceptance" stage now because I didn't put up any kind of fight. I mean, what is there really to debate about? She can't make it any more clear that she doesn't want to have anything to do with me, so why protest? It's just such a hard pill to swallow, especially since my thoughts linger too much on the past and how different things were only a few years ago.

It's time to stop worrying about her, and to worry about your own life and how to have a great one.

There are plenty of people who insist that I shouldn't feel responsible for the decisions she's made to cheat on me and abandon the marriage. That it doesn't really have anything to do with me and that there was nothing I could have done to change her mind.

You're responsible for your part of the marriage failure, but you're not responsible for her actions to step outside of the marriage. True, a bad marriage often leads to this type of things, but that neither justifies or causes it to happen. A WW/WH still chooses to do wrong.

But there's always that little voice in my head that reminds me of how many opportunities I had over the course of our marriage to show her how much I valued her and our relationship. And every time I missed one of those opportunities, a little more of her love/respect for me leaked out of her bucket, until one day it was bone dry.

That's a NGS tendency, but let go of what you cannot control and fulfill yourself by spending that energy in a positive place.

Those dreams stink, but they will fade. I've noticed mine really faded as I gave up on worrying about everything all the time. Yours will fade too.