My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 5

[ovrrnbw]

Hey guys, thanks for responding! I was definitely worked up on Thanksgiving but have settled down. Hung with my sister Friday, watched college football and started rereading DR. Left at 1:00 AM Sunday morning on 1 day hunting trip, which was a ton of fun.

It’s good to acknowledge your mistakes (yeah, see who’s saying it...) and improve yourself.

I think this was self deprecation, but I'm not sure what you meant!

Nicole, my behavior wasn't unfortunately any different before our engagement and was just as abhorrent when we were dating.

You're still young and you have no kids so it'd be fairly easy for you to start over with another woman when the time is right. It's worth keeping that in mind! If you spend another ten years in turmoil with your wife, knowing she has these tendencies even if she comes back, you might find yourself divorced with kids and at that point it's not quite so easy to bounce back like it would be now.

I've thought about this and plenty of my friends and family have mentioned it as well. I just am not ready to file. I've thought about it more in the last few days, but I'm still emotional over this whole deal. Plus I want to honor my vows. Part of me feels like I owe her and I owe the marriage because I contributed the lion's share of the downfall. Plus my religious views aren't permissive of divorce either. I think the Church's view on it is there to reinforce the notion that 2 people can make it work whenever they want to. The flip side being that it will take her effort if this is ever to change.

Blu, thanks for stopping in!! I saw you and Cheesy both in my thread! I do enjoy the tenured folks here as much as the newbies like myself.

My latest dilemma comes in the following forms

1. I told FIL a week or two back (you know, when things were just MARVELOUS!) that I'd help him on his boat. He needs me there to help chain up his boat and lift it in the air with his bobcat for the aluminum welder to work on. On Thursday of last week, FIL and MIL showed how insensitive they are to my suffering and my family's suffering over this and my W took off back to OM's house. I haven't confirmed her location at OM's house (excuse me, OM's parent's house) b/c I haven't looked at our car's app - because I generally am trying to not snoop - but I'd bet my butt that's where she ran off.
FIL called last night and asked me to meet him at his lake house 2.5 hours away to help him on Tuesday. I told him OK, since I did agree to it. But it just feels like garbage b/c FIL doesn't really give a crap about me, what his daughter/my W is doing.

2. W suggested we meet with the priest who married us instead of a MC, so a couple weeks back we set an appointment to meet with him. That appointment is tomorrow night. We both had great growth and conversations in our monthly get togethers with the priest when we were engaged for 12 months, which is why W wanted to meet with him. I want to remind W that this was her idea and that appointment is tomorrow. I'm pretty sure, but not positive, that W has it on her calendar. Advice on this is appreciated. My logical and DB mind tell me to say nothing, that she'll say "no thanks" and realize that I'm still on the hook.

W called me and texted 3 times early Saturday. I didn't answer the call. She texted about bills drafting from her/our joint account. So I wrote a check and texted the picture to her for my half of those bills and said nothing. She has mobile deposit and can deposit it that way. Saturday evening, she texted me to ask if I was home. I responded "no". We were supposed to have the inlaws (FIL, MIL, SIL, SIL's fiancee) over Saturday so I went out and about.

When I got home from our trip yesteday, W, SIL, and SIL's fiancee were there. I don't know what they were doing and didn't ask. W said one or two small things before quickly leaving, and forgetting to leave the garage door open for me. W's memory has gotten horrible since BD, it used to be really good. Then W texts me yesterday "I planted the plants". The plants were ones we bought 3 weeks back that didn't make it in the ground right away. I had already noticed she did this. I didn't respond, but I screenshotted it to my sister because W is trying to have these "normal" conversations with me and it's just BS in my opinion.

Another book from Over!