Uncertain of What I Have

[SteveLW]

Bo, I know there are lots of details you left out. But my initial assessment based on your OP is something I've considered in my own sitch. So here goes:

It sounds to me like your W has a fantasy of in her head of a single life free of responsibility to a H and two young kids. That fantasy is fueled by whatever your behaviors have been to "cause" her to be unhappy and angry with you. I quoted cause because she is giving you way too much power over her own happiness. One thing I've learned on this DB journey is NO ONE else is responsible for an individual's happiness except that individual. And that is where this whole things turns into bad news. It sounds like she is not happy with her own decisions in life, and is projecting that on you.

I say that is bad news because lots of wayward spouses want the single life, after having agreeing to marry and having kids. Lots of sitches here like that. They decide that the "normal" is not for them and they go out and become party girls, or girls gone wild, or sleep with other people because they want the single life again. Your W sounds like she is having pangs of that. But only in fantasy right now.

So what does this mean for Bo? Well first, you have to take microscope off of her. Look at your OP. Her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her. You even admit to doing LRT (which I think is WAY premature for your sitch by the way) half-heartedly.

So what should Bo be doing. GAL, like a madman. Make sure you have a life outside of H and father. Reconnect with old friends, meet new people. Take up new hobbies you've always wanted to try. Detach. Let her go to get her back. She has this fantasy of how much better her life would be without you? Show her what that life is like! Give her the time and space she asked for. REALLY give it to her. (Yes this means no sex and affection, at least for now. Trust me, you'll survive.) And make sure to 180 on any bad behavior. If you were a yeller before, remain calm and only use normal tones. If you were a pouter before, no more pouting. Become the man only a fool would leave!

As cadet says, be a great dad, but also have a life outside of that. There is nothing wrong with being a great dad 3-4 nights of the week and then being busy out of the house the other 3-4 days of the week. BALANCE.

Keep posting. We'll help where we can, but you got this Bo!