J9, You are a great dad, and your kids are lucky to have you in their lives. You have a lot of reasons to be proud of yourself in the way you handled your D. It will be interesting the first time you meet XW's boyfriend, but I'm sure you will handle it in the same respectful and honorable way you have done everything. Dating can suck. No doubt about it. But it can also be fun. Kids sure do add another dimension from what I was used to!
Thanks Jim.....I don't worry too much about it any more. It was hard taking the high road early on because all you want to do is punish them for what they did but with hindsight it was absolutely the right thing to do. Once the emotions stabilize it becomes very clear.
I don't worry too much about her BF any more. I am sure it will still be a little tough if/when I meet him for the first time but I think I am about 90% detached from the situation. I know I am not completely out of the woods yet but I am getting close. I think once I see her with another man, maybe kiss him, holding his hand or whatever that will help the last domino fall into place. Really as long as he is good to my girls that is the most important thing.
I think you handled yourself well in your most recent communication with your wife. From an outsider looking in, based on what you type, it really does appear that it is her bag of monkeys. I think cutting her off from being her errand boy, maintenance man and appointment maker is the right thing to do for yourself at this juncture. Maybe you can re-engage later down the road once you feel like your in a good place.
