Pax, beautiful! Your post sounded very different when you switched lenses. It sounds like you were freed. I know that I have total PTSD for things like that -- and I have self-control, faith, compassion for others. So imagine how hard it would be to not be controlled by the PTSD if you were in MLC and totally unable to be self-reflective.

Good for you for having compassion for him, that's what I call super-human (divine) strength!

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.