I guess this is piecing

[Did]

W said she is done a day or two ago. I still dont think she has even really tried. Read 40 pages of 2 books therapist recommended over 6 weeks. She resents me for how I was in the marriage shes inconsistent has anxiety when its D4 and both of us. She just accepts this is how she is. Dont think she tries to do any of the hard stuff to change it. Ive changed a lot she sees it has said great things to me- how different my energy is, great dad, hottest guy. Ive been the rock every time she needs someone Im there. Ive rescued her and enabled her... not any more. She criticizes me than shuts me down when I try to have a conversation. She is manipulative and her mom is the same way, she dislikes her mom which is an understatement but I see her building the same life.

I have gone dark, man its hard. Facetimed me last night, no answer. Havent texted or reached out. A month ago we were dating and doing well, things deterioirated the last few weeks as she said things like I want to keep you at arms legnth (feels like manipulation have me but you cant have me), she avoids communication with me because she gets down (no one else knows what shes going through- its hard).

May try to talk to her about communcation tomorrow. Talking on phone at least 1x per week we agreed to in therapy and dating every week or two, hasnt happened recently. Shutting me down, resentment, criticism of me then not being able to talk about it, healthy communication styles- being able to open up, be vulnerable etc. Talking about communcation was was one of the last things I texted her the other day. We have counseling scheduled for Dec 3rd. At counseling Im going to throw it all out there. She can put real effort in to work on herself or we can go our separate ways. Hurting right now but not sharing with her. I made the mistake of telling her I was hurting a few days ago and she freaks out got so mad, said she cant stand that she can hurt me it makes her mental, that is what sparked the Im done conversation, like how is that the response to someone you care about having a hard time. Up to that point she was giving one word answers. Im just fed up guys. She can do the hard work on herself to let go of the past, work on her communication, her self esteem and manipulation or I feel like I have to give up at least for now.