Just keep swimming, I think I can, I think I can part2

[marina7]

Peacetoday,

Thank you for your advice is truly crazy to see them
Just leave literally everything. I mean memories.

I thought because W was a woman it would be difficult
But W has proven me wrong.
But I also know I can't imagine the dark place W is in.

Pax_luv

Thank you for passing by,
What I have learned is to avoid stress and chaos
I realized now from LBS eyes there are many miserable people
out here. We here are the few that I believe God has opened our
Eyes. Not sure yet Why but we are all here someway some how.

I now realize I only can control me and help my trio's.

Example, this happened yesterday
I was driving about to get a small tress for us.
While 5min to 10min on road car started smoking
Overheated.
Trio's panic but s10 was different.
S10 started crying and saying
Why God why does everything happens to the good mom
Why God why us.
I realized I couldn't show also I was worried I immediately pulled
Over took s10 hands said.
S10 look at me is not God fault things happens, it just happens
the most important thing is we are ok, s9,d10 and s10 are you
Ok,
S10 yes mommy I am scared.
M I know s10, but do you trust me
S10 yes mommy
M ok s10 first thing first remember not God fault I think
God sometimes test us to see.
S10 ok
M but most importantly we ok we going get home and then
We be ok
I drove us safe. Got home called my old mechanic explained
And also said at the moment I have no money but I will pay as soon I can
Mechanic said ok I'll be there Tomorrow

I look at trio's and said you see all fix. Trio's huddle and we hug.
D10 mommy always fixes everything.


Yesterday I wanted to have a breakdown but right now I can't
Do I also ask myself how am I doing it. I do ask myself that.
But I know I have some guardians Angel's watching us.

So I am in Illinois yelp blizzard happening but thanks to mechanic
Blizzard and all he stop by it was a broken holes he fix and car good.
He really helped us I owe him.

DnJ
Yes everyone advice herr is like Winning the lottery
I am not sure how I would do it if I didn't find this site.
It was by the grace of God.

Nerve wrecking is not even enough. My life is in GAL
Hands. Is scary to let a stranger be in charge of kids life.
But I know this must happen.

There's no other way.
Is nothing against W I must protect trio's for now till they
Old enough.

So as I was getting Xmas decorating I seen some of W
Things. Before I met W. Some of W culture items and clothes
I nicely folded and set in a box. Today I wanted to test W a little to see
How W can handle when I clean shed out. At drop off I said W
I have a box of your things.
W headlights eyes open.
W what you mean
M I have some things of your things
W no no no what do you mean
M W your things just a box
W what is it M tell me
M w your things you want it I promise
W grab it and started going through it,
Blizzard and all. I stood there watching from the car
Just at all W was going through every piece.

I rowed my window, W are you ok
Just stared at me. I drove slowly and W going through a box
It was crazy seeing W this way.
D10 said mom acting like you put a bomb in there.
I just stood quiet, and while driving look over and still
Going through things.

I drove quietly so many thoughts going through my mind.
And now I am not sure W could handle more items giving to her.

There's so many things running through my head
Also emotions seeing W this way.

I again will take any advice on this. Again Thank you