Thank you DnJ... for taking the time and, as always, give me much to think about and to aspire to. I will definitely click on those links and read.
I just had a long talk with my XH. It was very helpful just to get some things out and have his perspective. I learned a lot about letting go with love from him. Certainly it is what both of us endeavoured to do all those years ago and I am proud to say that although we only talk about once a year, the bond that we forged as kids in our 20s, has never really been broken. He has been and will always be someone I can count on. There are absolutely no romantic feelings remaining for either of us... just respect and unconditional love. At the end of our conversation, he told me to call him anytime and said goodbye with “I love you”. I responded in kind and hung up feeling really, really proud that we have managed to hang on to the important things and not in a needy, desperate way but just with complete acceptance of who we are and no resentments that we couldn’t make it work between us. But that was a different situation and a different life. Whether or not my H and I can ever get to that place, remains to be seen but I doubt that it will happen anytime soon and may not ever, truth be told. My H is “sorry” but he has not taken responsibility and he is not doing the work. He wants to fast track it. And no doubt he will get his way.
