A familiar story with questions EIGHT

[RR17]

Confessing my vulnerability here today.

So I wake up in the wee hours with this suspicion. Now I haven't had these type feelings in a very long time. 6 months or more?

Well, a couple of things enter my mind:
Why now? Is this suspicion justifiable or irrational? Is it helpful? H&ll no! What do I do with it? Unless I plan to act on it, get rid of it. Right?

So I reached the conclusion that while watching TV last night W sat in a different spot. Bare with me here. She seemed intrigued by whatever she was reading. She also demonstrated a few other "out of the norm" behaviors yesterday. Nothing that screams OM just out of the norm. W was situated where I could never see what she was reading. In an effort to circumvent any suspicions I casually asked "what's you reading?" without a pause or defensive reaction, she said oh just about this Keto Diet. I accepted the response and for the time settled my mind.
You see, years later I am still subject to triggers (a word I hate, BTW). Of course, I am now in better control with what I do with it.
So using skills I have learned through Mindful meditation I am able to push these thoughts out of my head and return to sleep. I no longer feel victim to my thoughts.

So upon waking for the day and after coffee I conduct a brief autopsy of the night's events. I conclude that the suspicion is not rational. That I am still subject to belated hunchs. That I have progressed to the point where I will use my rational mind and not my emotional mind to stay the course. I had considered asking W where this is all going. Yea, bad RR18.