Oh hun ... those sleepless nights are a [censored].
Fear is a strange thing. As an exercise, list out all the things you fear. Yorkie did this and discovered that half the things she was scared of, actually weren't that scary. She was worried about not having as much money, but, if you ask her, she will tell you, yes, there is less money, but there is enough to make do. You worry that you won't get to go on any fancy holidays. Then do less fancy ones. Time away with your kids is still time away with your kids, irrespective of whether you are in the Caribbean or you are camping.
You are mourning your future. The flip side is your future is yours to make. I went away for a long weekend and booked a room via Air B&B. The woman I stayed with had recreated her life after her partner of ten years left her for a younger woman (his A lasted a year before she found out). I don't know her age but I would put her in her 50's. After the assets had been split she took her half, left London and moved up north to a small tourist town. She bought a large doer upper, opened her own practice and got to the task of renovating her home. She now rents all the spare bedrooms out to people who visit the town. She is still on her own (she has had BF's but she is fiercely independent) but her life is very very full. She hears from her ex every now and then. He is currently separated from the woman he left her for (he was having yet another A).
Not the future she had planned. It is, for her, much better.
So, running off and opening a B&B is not necessarily on the table for us. But that does not mean we can't define our future.
