Thank you for posting and providing sage advice to the posters. It takes a while for the sage advice to settle in, but once it does, life will get a bit easier for each of you because you will not be focusing quite as much on what your spouse/companion is doing because you will then be focusing on you and your family.
Print off uRworthy's advice and re-read it often. It's priceless.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
