WW's are very resentful toward the H. They will rewrite history and make it sound as if they were treated terribly, had to sacrifice happiness, etc. It's a way they try to justify what they are doing currently. She knows having an affair is wrong, but she'll try to justify it by making you out to be the bad guy.

Don't acknowledge her text. She's baiting you into a fight. You know the truth, and you won't make her change her mind or admit how it really was.

I suggest you stop responding to any texts that does not ask a direct question about the kids. You can tell when she is on a rampage, so don't get hooked by responding.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!