Dealing with a WW trying to save marriage pt2

[SoTorn]

I had offered to sit and talk about finances with WW. All that did was open me up to her berating me and yelling at me. WW advised me that the mortgage was due, so half of the mortgage is half of one of my checks. After I transferred that into the account she then advised that there were more bills due, so I transferred the remaining into the account.

That has nothing to do with being a child or just giving in. I legitimately want to make sure my bills are paid because we have never paid a bill late in our lives.

Yes I am getting some good advice from some people that i am implementing. Just because I type very straight forward does not mean that I am treating WW poorly. WW screams, yells, berates, calls names etc. I have done none of that. I try and de-escalate her or I just walk away.

A lot of the responses I am getting are not advice. Advice is when you say "I see you did this, maybe try this". You say that you think you understand what she has gone through. So elaborate on that. What do you think she has gone through? What specifically have I done to treat her poorly? What specifically do you think I should have done differently?

I would like to know. I am doing my best to GAL, my actions are absolutely a 180 from before. I used to scream and yell back. That was me years ago. I have explained that I understand how she feels right now over and over again. I have repeated back to her what she told me. "I understand that you feel like XXX" right now. And left it at that.

I am ready to listen to her if she wants to talk. WW can't talk. WW screams, yells, berates, blames etc. Thats it. Nothing else as of now. I am not just waiting for her to do something wrong. WW already did something wrong, WW decided to be wayward and have an affair. Besides that all I am trying to do is not anger her or hurt her. Thats it. The only way I can do that is by GAL at this point because of the IHS.

And to follow up with posting above. I am not dwelling on the affair. I am just pointing out a fact. That is reality right now. I am not shoving it in WW's face. I am doing nothing of the sort. I am trying to live my life, take care of myself, take care of my kids and WW keeps bouncing between leaving me be to smashing against me full force with all of her theories and hate. I honestly do not have any expectations of her right now and I don't care what she does as long as she isn't mistreating me or my children. I am absolutely worried about my children.