W has gathered more things to take with her. This part is so, so hard. It's hard that she doesn't seem to be struggling, but I know she is. Of course she is.
My H took three weeks from the time he got the keys to his flat to the time he actually MO. During those three weeks I would go to work in the morning and he would spend the days ferrying stuff from the house to his flat. I too was hurt by how easy it all seemed for him. But when I look back, he was on auto-pilot. He would wait for the children and I to leave, get up, take things to his car, take them to his flat, put them away, and then come back and do it again. Auto-pilot takes no thought and no emotion.
Originally Posted by Yail
I wonder if it's her pride that keeps her from temp checking me or the regular back and forth behavior. She does not want to give me false hope ... And I think on a scale from "maybe" to "extremely sure" she leans towards feeling "extremely sure". So that's the decision she's made and she will stick to it despite the doubt.
... she is extremely sure [right now].
Your W actually sounds a lot like me (except for the cheating, abandoning my partner part). If it were me, the reasons I would be moving full steam ahead with as little emotion as possible is that I know if I stopped for even a minute the emotions would threaten to overwhelm me [her] and I [SHE] CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN because it may weaken my [HER] resolve. In the privacy of my [HER] own room I [SHE] will be breaking down . But never in front of other people.
She also sounds a lot like my H.
The day he moved he said he had to come back for something in the morning and said he would drop me off at the station. I waited. He was 2 hours late which wound me up. When he eventually came, we had an R talk, and I ended up throwing my wedding ring at him. He still drove me though. I was in tears in the car. He pulled up at the station, I got out and he drove off. All I could think was how could he leave me, the woman who, until 6 months ago, he professed to love with all his heart, crying by the side of the road.
I spoke to him a few months later and brought this up. He said he had to go because he was going to start crying too. He actually drove three blocks and couldn't drive any further. He had to pull by the side of the road because he couldn't see through his tears.
Originally Posted by Yail
I try to remember that when W is gone I've been working on getting into a new routine with my days/evenings, and that my emotions will calm down again. When I'm at work I'm able to laugh with coworkers. I'm trying to find things I like to do for GAL.
This all sounds great. I was no-where functional this early on after BD. Some days I couldn't even face going into work. For the first time in my life I locked myself in toilet cubicles and meeting rooms and cried and cried.
Originally Posted by Yail
I'm trying to imagine where I'll be next summer. Will I still feel like this? I hope not. Will W still have contact? Where will I be living? It's all so much, that I'm really trying to focus on today or this week.
No matter where you are living it will be a home because you will make it a home. She may or may not be in contact. Who knows. But you will be fine. You are making great strides already.
I have watched Nannette. I was looking for something funny. It made me cry instead. For a woman who likes nothing better than to spend her nights with her dogs and warm cups of tea, she is very very powerful.
