No I’m not happy now... and I wasn’t particularly happy when he was mostly away for all those years... but I was committed and looking forward to when he was “better” and we could start to put our lives back together. And this past year I was finally financially on my feet and enjoying what it felt like to not have that money stress. It was amazing. I counted my blessings every day and I loved my husband. Now in two short months (my timeline) my H is singlehandedly destroying everything we worked for. Yes I can be happy again and I will get there. But this is a lot to handle and to adjust to. In my strong moments (and there are more of those than before) I am okay. But things come up and I have to process and readjust. I think that is where I am at right now. I am not fearing that he won’t come back... I am pretty sure he will not. But this new thing will take a while. It will take a while for me to forgive him for doing this to our family. I am striving to get there. I really am.
