My H was always irritated with how tornado-like the kitchen would be when I prepped a big meal, and when he started monstering, he would be so wickedly hurtful about that.
Just a reality check Gerda - a real partner appreciates the hard work you put into creating a meal and OFFERS TO HELP by doing the dishes. CMM refused to let me help with theThanksgiving dishes because I had done most of the cooking (he hadn't been feeling well that morning or he would have been helping cook too).
It can be hard to see the many ways our spouses have been inappropriate because we've gotten used to it over the years and doesn't marriage involve bending and accommodating? But the reality is, my ex didn't respect me for it. My marriage would have probably been better if I had been less accommodating and expected more from him.