I worked from home yesterday. The nice thing about my job is that they are so flexible. I can pretty much dictate my hours and whether I come in or not. H, as usual asked in the morning "are you going in today" to which I responded "I am not sure yet". I had a dentist appointment in the morning (so was sure) but I find his constant questioning intrusive now.
Sorting my teeth out is one of my 180's I guess. I am one of those people 'blessed' with good teeth so have never had to, apart from the odd checkup and hygienist appointment, never really had to worry about them too much. Until recent years. In the UK you need to book your dental appointments months in advance (unless it's an emergency - in which case you might get one in say, 2 weeks). I am a contractor so booking anything in advance and then taking a day off to attend an hours appointment didn't seem particularly practical or economical. Appointments over the last 2 or 3 years have been limited to absolute emergencies and, because once it got to that stage, I was usually in such pain, I would normally end up going to a private dentist in the middle of the city (so I could do it in my lunch hour). Long story short, I put band aids over the symptoms instead of taking the time to sort it out properly.
Strangely, my H has always had the teeth of a coffee addict. I couldn't understand it those early years we were together. His were yellower than mine and he didn't suffer from either of my addictions (cigarettes and coffee). In the year or so before BD he became obsessed with whitening them. He ended up getting special whitening stuff from Europe. His teeth are so white now that they would put Tom Cruise to shame. He use to say to me sometimes "why don't you get [name]" and I would shrug my shoulders and say "Not really for me".
Anyway, I am getting my teeth sorted and one more appointment and it is done. The dentist has also put me onto a gel for whitening them (prob. the same one my H has but under a diff. name).
My H picked the kids up after school, watched D9's football training and brought them both home. He only came into the hallway. I said something like "Are you running straight off" (as he said he wasn't hanging around after today) and he replied "Yep, I am going to the gym and then to play football with the dads". He still gives me too much information ... I think this is to make clear he is not going on a date ... which leads me to think that when he doesn't give me any information ... he is probably dating. No matter. I reminded him he needed to be here at 9:00 today and also that he hadn't given me the schedule for Dec yet. He looked at me strangely, said "OK" and started heading for the door. I walked him to the door, but he didn't even wait for me to close it, he pulled it closed as he walked out.
There is something not right ... he couldn't wait to leave. Is this the next stage?
I will write the timeline below and the events that preceded each:
Oct 17 BD: Anger and the spew (lasts until he is resolved to MO - Oct to Dec 17) Dec 17 agreed he would MO Dec 17: sadness and ignoring me (lasts until he MO's March 18) Mar 18 MO: Everything is fine, nothing to see here (lasts until I find out he is dating Oct 18) Oct 18 Find out he is dating: over the top niceness, around ALL the time and random acts of kindness (lasts one month - Nov 18) Nov 18 - I double down on Db'g: Passive aggressive, bursts of anger, can't be in the same room with me.
So, I ask those that have been here for a while, is his recent behavior normal? It seems we have regressed to his post BD behavior (but not as overt) and I do not know if what I am doing is right, or if I should go back to the 'friendly neighbor". I would describe my doubling down on Db'g more "detached manager" - there is no 'friendly' in there.
