Hi Kiwi. It’s been awhile. I was thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. I am glad you posted again but not glad to hear about your new normal. You and I are in similar sitchs, no doubt. The new normal is not the normal I ever wanted to be in. But...nothing we can do about it. I think giving up is the key to start to find ourselves again. If only we could just flip a switch. But it doesn’t work that way. We have to go through this pain to get to the other side. My H is on the mainland. At a rehearsal with his buddies tonight and going to a high school football game tomorrow. In the 13 years we were together, my H did not go to one sports event at any of the schools he taught unless they were during school hours. This is the second game he has attended in as many weeks.
I struggle with the ring issue too. I haven’t taken mine off since we said “I do”. I feel like I should but haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. I know my H would like it if I would. He is gearing up for the beginning of the legal end of our marriage. He can’t file for divorce yet but he wants to separate our finances anyway. That is going to be a lot trickier and a lot more costly for both of us than he realizes even if we go through a mediator. We were home free financially before and now we will both be back living pay cheque to pay cheque. He has never handled our finances so he has no idea. He will find out soon enough though.
Hang in there Kiwi. Focus on you as much as you can. Your H is experiencing the newness of being out on his own and in his new place. He will be distracted for awhile. Eventually what is new will become old and he will start to look back a bit. Hopefully what he will see is someone who is doing well and feeling good about herself. You can do this. You HAVE to do this. I KNOW the kind of pain you are talking about. It is excruciating at times. It will get less so over time. Big (((HUGS))) to you.
