So it has been almost two weeks since H moved out. I hated it when people said: you will get used to the new normal. I don’t want this to be normal. It is not normal when you are left behind by the person you could trust more then anyone else. But alas, reality is sinking in, we are getting into a kind of normal, which is not the normal I wanted, but I guess we need some normal. I also realized that Probably to H’s friendly behavior the last couple of weeks, I had too much hope, I guess even expectations. Now I am realizing, that this is most likely the end. He is going out a lot. On Wednesday he did not reply to S12 good night txt, so I assume he was out. And today he is invited to dinner he mentioned, I assume with a female, which he had made clear was his goal. Maybe I just did not expect it would be so soon. It hurts a lot.I feel like I should just give him up, so the pain will be less. He also has made it clear that he will file for D as soon as he finds the time. So I better be prepared. Considering all this I took of my ring yesterday and bought myself a new ring today. Not sure yet which ring to wear to school on Monday though.
Since H has the boys on a Thursday’s we agreed he would have them for a thanksgiving as well, but I invited them over for dinner, but probably would not do that again. We talked superficially and it felt wrong, when they all left for the night. The worst part was, when aI packed him leftovers for the next night and he mentioned his dinner invitation. I almost packed everything back. Well, that was the last time it happened. At the moment I also fell like I will not go to his parents for Christmas, should they invite. It feels just fake.
