A bit of an emotional evening. Got an email from my H. He wants me to go to mediation for our separation. Pretty sure he is hoping to get the kids 50/50 so he won’t have to pay much child support. He only makes $10,000 more than me a year so probably thinks he should pay almost nothing. So, in my province, there is no such thing as a legal separation. You have to be living apart for a year to file for a divorce unless one of the spouses commits adultery and the other spouse files on those grounds. So mediation and division of assets is really something that happens during a divorce. Anyway...the email was very business-like and cold...just like mine, I suppose. He seems in a big hurry to get something done and does not want to deal with lawyers who he thinks will just pit us against one another. He will not get 50/50 though. My kids will be 12 next year and will get to have a say. I casually asked my daughter if mommy and daddy wanted her to live with her dad one week and her mom the next, how would she feel about it. She barely even thought about it. She said “no” right away. That she wants to live in her home with me and that she is fine to visit his place. I asked if it would make a difference if he got a different house in our neighbourhood and she said her answer would be the same. I told her not to worry about it but that I just wanted to know how she felt. Sigh... I really, really hate this. Anyway...I just replied that we could talk about it after the holidays so have put it off for now. I’m going to put it off as long as I can and focus on me and detaching. There are some days when I feel like I am really close and then wham!! Something happens and I am back to feeling sad and powerless again. I just want to fast forward a couple years and be done with these emotions.
