DnJ, thank you for stopping in; yes indeed, one good friend to another.
I don't disagree with a thing you say. But H has never said a word about OW, he was a monster at home but all the horrors of his replay have been a total secret from everyone except me and mostly even me except that he messed up often enough for me to have various revelations and discoveries every six months or so. My point is that I don't think my kids will ever ask as I don't think they will ever know unless I tell them. And I don't think there is any reason to tell them except my own desire to be vindicated or to make them judge him.
I just want to give him to God to judge. The weight of judgement crushes me, it is way too heavy a burden for me.
I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I was very proud of myself for cooking the entire thing alone in a 24 inch oven, with two kids bugging me throughout the day. Did not clean the whole house as planned but managed to make our main living space beautiful and enough places for everyone to sit. Made two roast turkeys, sweet potato casserole, stuffing, twice baked potatoes, roasted brussels with bacon, pumpkin pie, apple-cranberry cake and a chocolate torte. (Most of my guests were not Americans so I was even more set than usual on doing the traditional stuff.) Plus the dips and things for when everyone came in and even a fire roaring along in the fireplace.
My H was always irritated with how tornado-like the kitchen would be when I prepped a big meal, and when he started monstering, he would be so wickedly hurtful about that. I remember once he actually yelled at me for cooking dinner every night instead of getting take-out (which I couldn't afford anyway) because I made such a mess cooking and he wasn't going to be forced to help clean up. Now he only does just exactly his own dishes and pans that he uses, sometimes not even all of them, and I have to clean absolutely anything I use for me and the kids, plus random things he leaves. When I took out wine glasses for guests last night, I discovered that he just puts them up on a high shelf dirty, he doesn't even wash the wine out, I guess because he knows he is just filling it back up less than 24 hours later.
I was thinking of that this time because without him here, with some peace, I just cleaned up after each thing I made, and everything stayed nice all day. I felt this sort of pang wishing my H could see how pretty and organized it all was, and eat the food I made which I knew he would enjoy. Took a deep breath at my reflection in the window over the sink and laid all that at God's feet and just let myself enjoy my own life there and then though I did pray a little bit for him, all alone and running. (Did you read my post about him crying to D9 when he left?) At the very end when I did not maneuver the two turkeys well, the drippings spilled into the oven and the house filled with smoke. And they were so heavy in rescuing the turkeys from tumbling, I actually hurt my wrist bad enough to wear an Ace bandage today! But if you recall,I installed a whole house fan myself last summer (when H refused to help because I had not consulted him about what to purchase), and so the smoke was gone in no time, and soon the house was full of people and life and happiness. I had to borrow a thermometer from the bar next door and brought the bartenders two turkey dinners when I brought it back, plus one for the guy at the all-night deli. Happiness all around.
Thanks for stopping by, DnJ, I am always glad to see you and see what wisdom you have for me to chew on.
Here is the song I am listening to now, a good one for all of us here --
