I look at so many divorces now and wonder how many are actually due to MLC, especially during this replay phase.
That is difficult to say especially since MLC isn't officially recognized in the American Psychiatric Ass'n DSM.
Some of the ex-partners of us are perhaps "ill" in some fashion. Some are perhaps selfish jerks like my own ex (IMO)
To save you the time of reading, we had a good if somewhat unbalanced marriage - she was definitely in charge. Empty nest, menopause, "It's time for me" yadda yadda yadda. A well-off widower falls in to her lap - more or less literally - she has some presumably real conflicts and depression about her choices and then goes chasing off. Spoiler alert - it doesn't seem to have worked out well for her.
DnJ's STBX though, is just behaving weird and there are those who have suggested mental illness or drug abuse in that case. Gordie's seems to have realized that things weren't going to work out for her and is apparently reluctantly getting used to that.
Your own seem to be in some ways closer to my experience. You've just not hung on as long and as hard as I did which in many ways I'm still healing from.
Is the "awakening" when they realize that it hasn't worked out and then try to worm their way back in to the good graces of their former partner? Or is it a legitimate change in attitude? Smarter people than I am probably disagree on this.
And yes - a number of us LBS - even ones who hang around here still like the ghosts at the banquet - can be pretty cynical.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
