Yesterday turned out to be a great Thanksgiving in what I had anticipated to be horrible. 2 week’s ago I had no plans, wouldn’t have my S, and my parents were out of commission as my mother had knee replacement surgery and was still in hospital.
Exchanges with w have been “thawing”of late. W has been asking more questions about what I have going on, who I’m hanging out with, how have I met so many new people, etc.
W offered to let me pick up S yesterday morning so I could spend time with him. I changed my morning plans and texted W that I would like to take S out for bike ride since it would be 60 degrees out. I think she was surprised that I took up her offer as I originally was going to meet some friends to play football.
I ended up picking S up at her place and we went to a local park where there’s an awesome trail that loops around a lake. S and I had a blast as we did our first gravel ride. We also witnessed some guys that were flying a high dollar ($2.5k) 3D drone doing all sorts of crazy stunts. They had gathered a sizable crowd as they got a bit cocky as one shouted to take it up a notch....well that resulted in said drone to have a crash landing...lol. As one of the observers stated...well we just watched the joy and agony of flying those things in the matter of 2 minutes. Long winded story but I maximized the 3 hours of time with S and I know how much fun he had as his smile was back to the days of old pre BD.
When I went to pick up S, my FIL was at W place helping with yard work. It was the first time in 8 months that I have seen him. I was cordial..but didn’t go out of my way to make discussion with him. He asked how my mother was doing..I replied ok. That was that. (It will be very hard for me to ever have respect for him in future...as he made some choice comments to me when I made mistake of reaching out to him prior to W leaving marital home)
I took S back to W place early afternoon before W’s planned Thanksgiving meal at her FIL friends place. This was the most engaging exchange W and I have had in 8 months. W was friendly and asked about our bike ride as S was gleefully explaining our fun adventure. W then started asking all sorts of questions about my “new friends”, how I’ve been doing all these new GAL activities, etc. I just kept my answers brief, but cordial. W then made comment about how my birthday was coming up soon and S and her would be doing something for it..(shocked it was mentioned). W kept wanting to engage further but I said I needed to leave so I could get over to my “Friendsgiving” in time. I wished W a happy Thanksgiving while she was trying to continue our conversation....she seemed perplexed and then wished me the same.
Friendsgiving was a great time. It was with a group of dads that have also gone through D. Meal was celebrated with some that had kids with them, others without. Some are in new relationships...others are still fresh. Definitely has been an awesome Grouo of guys that has an understanding of what D entails.
W texted me 3 times over course of afternoon/evening asking questions she already had answers to. She offered to bring S over to my place early as it’s my weekend. I replied that would be great.
I maintain 0 expectations....but the change in W demeanor and treatment towards me continues to be consistent. My walls remain on high alert. This week we have had 6 FTF interactions...more calls from W than at any point last 8 months..and increased text exchanges.
I plan to just continue to approach her as D will happen...but live my life as I chose and be happy in the moment and take the small wins in stride. I truly feel at peace with myself right now and sense W sees it. Ever since I honestly dropped the rope and keep an ADGAF mindset I feel free.
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
