This was my first long-term relationship (> 6 months) and I never received the wisdom or gained the insight on my own (due to being naive) to understand that the “Honeymoon” phase that is full of great interactions, both emotional and physical, would eventually end. I truly believed that our shared history and the vows we took would carry us forever.
and
Originally Posted by JB42d
...when she reaches a certain level of frustration or resentment, she shuts down. This happened between us, though her resentment never came across as anger or anything, and I honestly don’t think she knows how much resentment was built up over the years. I didn’t realize I had been shut out emotionally as we operated as such a good team in every other realm of family life, but I see it clear as day now.
This. I've experienced the same (I'm sure many of us have), and I have to say you and I may be similar in where we are at emotionally. It feels unfair, doesn't it? That we realize "hey! This isn't stuff we were ever taught, but I'm certainly wanting to learn and listen!" and yet that isn't received by the spouse as an option. I see you've taken the time to really dive into the material and see what you can do to better yourself with a honest goal of improvement.
All I can say is keep growing. We've lost our teammates, they're not the same people. So be your own best teammate and see just how far you can go on your own.
