I don’t think I would read too much into it other than what seems quite obvious. He is used to you accommodating him and being there for him. You have set your boundaries and you are sticking to them. He knows that he needs to adjust now. He knows he did this. The bloom is coming off the rose. The consequences of his actions are beginning to become apparent and of course he does not like it. Like you said... it is not all rainbows and unicorns on his side of the fence. He needs to sit there for awhile.
I know what you mean about your grief over your future with your H. That is a BIG one for me. My H and I were home free financially. No debts. A beautiful home. Money to travel and likely retire early. We also wanted to travel... or buy a big boat and spend our retirement years boating. That future is gone. We are going from one household to two. Sooner or later, one or both of us will have a mortgage. Our travel plans will be reduced to an occasional trip. We will only have one pension each to rely on instead of two. My H likely has not figured this out yet. He has never had to think of money before and I imagine his brain has not gotten that far down the road yet. He just wants to escape...the cost at this point is irrelevant to him. It will become more relevant as time goes on.
Don’t give up hope FS but keep GAL and DBing. I think everything is going well for you even though you don’t see that right now. He is thinking about things and he is likely having doubts but he won’t’ tell you that at this stage. He will just keep doing what he has been doing. The doubts will get bigger as time goes on. Stay the course. You are doing great!!!
