13 yrs and two kids pt. 2.

[sandi2]

I have a question about her getting back home in the morning before the kids get up. Does she prepare breakfast, b/c it appears you do everything else, getting the kids ready for school, etc. Have you always gotten the kids ready for school? What does she do? There's a reason I am asking.

I feel like we shouldn't attend family Christmas things such as the local Christmas gathering this sunday with the kids, but that one of us should go? am I letting my kids down by doing it like this?

Is it her side of the family that is meeting for Christmas? No, don't attend. No, you aren't letting down the kids! If you were divorced you would not be attending her family's holiday celebrations. You said "local", so I suppose some type of community celebrations? Sure, one of you can attend with the kids......but I would not do anything with her as a family. It will be tough, b/c of the season, but it would be tough at any time of the year.

So I am at a loss currently on how to behave, and need some advice before tonight. Basically, I have applied the "After Last resort technique" and told her that I am done

Then be done with it! Act done with it! Why are you questioning if you should go somewhere together and play happy family again? You've told her you were done. Now back up your words.

In the heat of the moment, I told her that she is going to accept the real estate broker listen tonight, and that we are taking care of the last business so she can get on with her life. Was that a mistake?

The mistake would be in backing down. Although you spoke in the heat of the moment, you have to stick by your word.
You are not confused, you are simply second guessing yourself. Remember how angry you felt when you told her you were done? I bet you would not have immediately told her to get the kids and all of you would go out celebrating.