13 yrs and two kids pt. 2.

[Hurt213]

I feel like I am slowly beginning to detach, and the fact that she came home this morning at 05.00 from OM, just to be home before the kids woke, really made me question, for the first time, wether I see a future with this woman at all anymore - maybe this is part of detaching. I didn't speak two words with her this morning. I made the kids ready for daycare, had breakfast with them, then I left for work (yea 1 day was all i got off :/). I didn't have it in me to "act nice towards her", I just felt like she was a nuissance to a relaxed nice early morning - every time I look at her, and she is yawning because she hasn't slept, I get these mental pictures of what she has been up to all night with the OM, and it disgusts me.

So I am at a loss currently on how to behave, and need some advice before tonight. Basically, I have applied the "After Last resort technique" and told her that I am done, and won't stand in the way for her happiness (basically the advice many of you, including Sandi gave me - That I need to show her, and mean it! when I show her with my actions that I am done) I feel like this is indeed the only option left I haven't tried.

I feel like we shouldn't attend family Christmas things such as the local Christmas gathering this sunday with the kids, but that one of us should go? am I letting my kids down by doing it like this? I just don't think I will be having a good time right now, in her company and I won't be able to dedicate my attention to having fun with the kids 100%. Do I simply tell her, that we are not doing anything together anymore, and that that is how it has to be? The boundary for not making this impact the kids is extremely difficult for me to figure out. Furthermore, I feel like I should spend ABSOLUTELY no time together with her when im at home, is this correct? I figure I will retreat to MBR and relax when I don't GAL and she is home? What about talking to her? I feel like I should keep it at an absolute minimum, and never engage, but also only accept conversations related to the kids or family issues such as finances or other impactful things? Thats my worries as of this moment - I hope for some clarification so I can go about this the right way when I come home tonight and for the future.

In the heat of the moment, I told her that she is going to accept the real estate broker listen tonight, and that we are taking care of the last business so she can get on with her life. Was that a mistake? Did I "show my poker hand" by forcing her to move on these things, that basically ends the family? Or is it a part of detaching and saying, I am not having this anymore, go live your life? When I reflect on it, it makes me a bit excited and happy, that I in a couple of months are on my own with the kids and have new adventures waiting for me, and on the other side, it makes me sad for the sake of the family and the time my kids will miss with me vice versa.

Help is appreciated. I am confused..