H texted me today. Hasn’t seen the kids in a few days so asked if he could pick them up and take them out for ice cream. Since he knows I am sick at home (he saw me this morning), I had no reason to say “no”. Still having a bit of a “hangover” from my impulsive picture review this afternoon. I just should not have done that. Looking backwards does nothing but bring sadness and confusion. So...definitely Stage 4 heading to Stage 5. If I was truly at Stage 5 or 6, I think I could have looked at those pictures with little to no emotion. So...reality check for me. If only I could just go away for a couple months and have no contact with him at all. I think that would help. Unfortunately...another reality check...that’s not possible. I have kids, a dog, a house, a job... so I must continue to have contact with him. More sadness for me... more guilt for him. Can’t seem to have one without the other it seems.
