I've had the most interesting 24 hour period I've had since this saga began.
This morning, I awoke to a beautiful double rainbow that was perfectly centered outside my bedroom window. I had my daughter take a picture of it for me. it is truly glorious. I was finishing up a scary movie with the kids that we had begun the night before. I suddenly had a memory of an email I had written to my H a month or two after kicking him out for what I knew would be the last time. That morning I had seen a rainbow and written him an email telling him that I had seen this rainbow and took it as a sign that it was ok to let him go. I wished him much happiness with OW1 and let him know I was ready to wrap things up (unbeknownst to me, they broke up 8 days later). I recalled it was about this time of year and searched my email. It was exactly 2 years ago to the day. While not religious, I tend to feel certain spiritual things and don't dismiss such things as mere coincidence.
Back to yesterday. Son saw H for the first time in 6 months. The health nut (all his life) has gained about 50 lbs and is now fat, completely bald, and complaining of physical injuries. He actually ate with my son (used to sit there while others ate and would only eat 1 salad a day). He ate a lot, and ate carbs. He has been regularly traveling to a foreign country that he never expressed interest in, that is a place I took the children the first Xmas after kicking him out (and that he told me was awful and dangerous). Other than a slip using the word "we" in reference to this trip, for which according to son he instantly blanched and became tongue-tied, there was no mention of OW2, her dog, her kids, etc. Her picture is on his phone though. For the most part there wasn't a lot of revelation to what S said, just more boxes ticked on the MLC list (spending, vacations, gambling?).
Later that night son comes to me. He knows that I am very strongly opposed to firearms and weapons of any kind, as was H the whole time I knew him. H said several times in his zombie state before leaving that he would never own a gun because he was afraid he would blow his brains out). Son tells me he now owns at least 3 guns and another weapon. I am devastated for many reasons. Do my best to hold it together.
Later my D mentions the correspondence she received from him the same day I got the stupid lawyer's letter and tried to talk to him. (the last time she heard from him, a couple of weeks ago, because he is blocked. It was instructing her, curtly, to read a certain book and watch a certain movie. I looked them up. The movie is about a father and daughter living off the grid in a rural area adjacent a major city with which we have a connection. I find this somewhat disturbing, as does she.
The book is about a depressed man who has been avoiding his estranged spouse who is trying to get him to sign divorce papers. He lies about receiving them and they meet and she gives him a new copy. He tells her he isn't ready and that he can't do it. She says it has been two and a half years (bells going off big time for me) and you still aren't ready, when will you be ready (I think in the end he gives them to her).
Once more, he filed (although I repeatedly called his bluff when he threatened). The same day he sent this to her, I got the lawyer's letter and immediately reached out to him. After the usual game playing he said he would meet, then chickened out saying he was busy. It was weeks ago. He has not come forward with more dates and his lawyer has not contacted mine asking why no response to the letter. Although his demeanor has become more civil and responsive.
I don't know what he is trying to tell me or if he is asking for help. Had he been ready to sign, I gave him all the chance in the world. I have been calm and patient to a fault. i really hope this is the usual narc holiday busting stuff, and not a sign of something more troubling. I will not be contacting him.
