Originally Posted by burned
Is that a consistent pattern over the course of your M? That's kind of just mean.


Hmmm. Well, W has always been someone who can get short and have a temper. Usually if the temper is directed at me (very rare) I sort of shrug and walk away and let her deal with her stuff. I do think over the years there have been more times than not that my body language is a bit submissive in those moments. Not that I'm some cowering person saying "i'm sorry! I'm sorry!" for things that aren't my fault. But in an effort to keep the peace, yes, I suppose I let that stuff slide a lot. Never really occurred to me to change it, tbh. I realize that's kind of silly but that kind of sarcasm and bit of meanness never really got to me, so I just moved on. I see now I need to address it. Not make a big huge deal of it, but state that I'll only continue conversations if the conversations remain respectful. I can do that.

Originally Posted by burned

Originally Posted by Yail
It's going to might get worse if the R really does break fully, but for now I feel confident in myself. Her antics cannot rule my life.



I guess what I meant by getting worse is that I've been doing okay at keeping positive about myself and moving forward in my life. I'm trying to actively fill my calendar and stay focused at work. But I know when it comes down to things like moving and selling the house I'm going to become hysterically sad. Not in front of W, but just privately I'll break down. I'm mourning the R, but I'm also definitely mourning that my life as I know it is being taken away. We've been together 10 years and built a life. But because W is 11 years older than me, she is more advanced in her career. So the house is 100% in her name, and was purchased before we were married last year. I can't afford to buy her out, so I'll need to find a new living situation once the house is sold. I'm resentful about that for sure.


This morning W and I are both on the same page: neutrally pleasant without initiating unnecessary conversation. It's like she's doing the DB thing too. I appreciate that we're not fighting or have too much tension, but I'm not sure what it means if it "means" anything in the DB world.