Dealing with a WW trying to save marriage pt2

[burned]

And I'm not blaming her. I'm just saying that I am not to blame, because the first thing out of WW mouth is literally that this is my fault. If she wanted to talk about feelings or unhappiness in our marriage I'm all ears. I told her this. WW does not know how to communicate without putting someone down.

When you say it that way, what I hear is defensiveness. That’s OK, it’s a protective feeling. But I can tell you from experience that it’s not useful. I used to come home from MC sessions FURIOUS that my W was trying to blame everything on me. The more I argued back, the less she felt like her opinions and feelings mattered. I remember multiple times when she said, “You always make everything about YOU,” and I said something like, “No I don’t and I hate that you keep saying that.” Can you see how someone might feel bad hearing that? Do you think that person would want to be around you, if every time they said something, you made it seem like they were wrong and they felt like they didn’t matter?
Well, that’s what happened. That’s what I learned. And my W is preparing paperwork to file for D, as far as I know. So it didn’t work in my favor, that’s all.