D - H has indicated (the two times he has brought it up) that he want 50% custody.
1) Over my dead body. 2) He knows he cant possibly manage it, he is a pilot FFS, 3) I would need me to agree to 'flexible' days where he has them around his roster (this is what we have now) 4) Over my dead body
My terms for 50/50 are he has them every second week or he has them for 15 straight days each calendar month and when he has the girls he also has our dog. He cannot meet this requirement as his roster varies from month to month. He would need to go down to 50% at work.
The sceptic in me thinks he wants 50/50 so he can get out of paying child maintenance and also the current flexible arrangement favors him. He gets his roster, works out what days are left free, organizes his life around those days, and then I get whatever is left over. This is how he can book a weeks holiday away without consulting me. He won't have that freedom if we were to go 50/50. He would have to book his holidays when he hasn't got the girls.
Anyway, I digress. I think you have made huge leaps in the last few days and I envy your resolve. You seem to have turned a corner. Well done for sending the email.It is a visible sign to him that you are moving forward, with or without him, and most importantly, it will have forced him to see some of the more tangible consequences of his actions.
I agree with the others here re the communication. Your H desperately wants you to be his shoulder to cry on. Is that what you want? I think I have gotten to know you a little and I suspect it is not your nature to be abrupt, or to turn your back when someone is hurting, but I think, for your own healing, perhaps you need to do that in this case.
