True loving detachment is not "shutting down". Active listening. Validating. It just means you aren't starting conversations and interactions. Because she has asked for time and space. However, when she does initiate you listen, and validate.
burned was also right about her picking the easiest thing to complain about. "You're shutting down." If you pursued she accuse you of smothering her and not giving her the time and space she asked for. LBS can hardly ever do anything right in the WAS' eyes post bomb day. It is just the way it is. Just keep GAL. Keep 180ing. Keep detaching.
Also, please heed these words by burned: "And anyway, believe nothing they say." "Water off a duck." Her words are useless. They are based on emotions. And her emotions change from one minute to the next. My WW used to say all the time "when I say something it is how I feel at that moment. But that can be different 5 minutes later." Why? Because she knew what she was saying was illogical, didn't make sense, and was contradictory to other things she had said. This is why you can't believe a word. Not a single word.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
